-By Fr. Craig Best

“Spiritual consolations” refer to a palpable sense of God’s love or our own sense of loving God, which may feel similar to feelings of romantic infatuation. 

God often sends consolations to encourage an individual to continue his or her efforts of drawing close to Him. However, like a courtship or marriage, where the rush of falling in love may for a time feel all consuming, spiritual consolations don’t last indefinitely. More often than not, God pulls back on this “reward” to test whether the person is praying and worshipping because of what he or she is getting out of it, or whether that person is there for God’s own sake. 

The reverse of spiritual consolation is known as “spiritual desolation” — feelings of extreme dryness or darkness, where we may wonder if God is there at all. Spiritual desolation can be very confusing and painful and is not necessarily a sign that the individual is doing anything wrong. Canonized saints experienced prolonged desolations, Mother Teresa of Calcutta being a famous, modern example. 

Most of the time, people of faith live somewhere in between these two extremes, sort of like a couple who has been together for many years. Love and trust are present, but we may not think about it, talk about it, or feel anything too far out of the ordinary. 

Sadly, however, when spiritual consolations diminish or vanish, many people who had gotten used to this gift may begin to slack off on prayer or church attendance, looking for other things to bring the pleasure they had once enjoyed in their spiritual life. 

Many others remain faithful through the absence of a palpable reward, but when the cross of desolation sets in — especially if the desolation persists and\or is accompanied by other trials — they stray. 

First of all, it can be helpful to know that God usually does pull back on the intensity of spiritual consolations. Though I grew up Catholic and always practiced the Faith, it wasn’t until my late-thirties that I really began to prioritize my relationship with God. As I began learning how to better think about God and was taking the sacraments more seriously, there would be times that tears would come to my eyes during prayer or spiritual reading. This did not happen every day, and when it happened the feeling didn’t last for more than a few minutes, but God was, in a sense, “wooing” me. After giving me enough of a taste of His love, however, these feelings diminished, returning less frequently and after longer breaks, which is completely normal in the spiritual life.

One thing you may find helpful is the advice a spiritual director in the seminary shared with the house of seminarians many years ago. To paraphrase, he said God tends to send consolations when the way we are praying and thinking is in harmony with the way God wants us to be praying and thinking. On the other hand, when spiritual desolations linger, rather than looking for the cause as something external, what we should do is find the desolations curious and journey deep within ourselves, asking ‘I wonder what it is that God wants me to figure out about myself that He is allowing this desolation to persist.’

If we’re old enough, we all know that suffering in various forms is a part of life. And if you have experienced spiritual suffering, you may have found it to be the most painful form of suffering of all. This has certainly been my experience. In addition to the advice of my former director, one thing I have found helpful is that rather than begging God to take away whatever cross (a request that not only often doesn’t help but can actually make the pain seem to be worse), do your best to make an act of trust in God’s plan and holy will. Perhaps a prayer such as “God, I don’t understand what is going on with this, and I would really like for You to take it away as soon as You are ready; however, You can leave me in this state as long as You see fit, and I thank you for whatever you are doing in my soul.”

Praying like this won’t take the pain away, but in my experience, it does seem to make it more bearable, maybe because this is the way God would like us to pray, and so He is sending us some extra graces.